Cats

A cat does not need a middle name. A cat does not need anything except the warm dent on the couch and the freedom to ignore you.

But you, the human filling out the vet form — you need it. You need the middle name on the index card you taped to the carrier. You need the middle name to yell when the cat is on the kitchen counter for the third time today.

It's the difference between "Pickle, get down" and "Pickle Sebastian, get down." The first one, the cat ignores. The second one, the cat looks. Then ignores.

Below: cats, with their middle names. Click any.